Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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