When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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