Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
