why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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