is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Randomize
