YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
