Me too!
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize