pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
