i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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