Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I hate all girls vehemently.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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