Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
