We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
