We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
