She's JV to your varsity
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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