I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize