quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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