I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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