i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize