I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
