Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
