I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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