Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
