please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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