Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
