i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I smell like Dick and happiness
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
