He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I need to stop coming to work sober
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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