yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I wish i was in the wii world.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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