He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
