i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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