I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
