Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
