Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
