You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
