you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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