There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize