She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
