Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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