at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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