Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Dignity is for republicans.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
