There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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