just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
