I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
