All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
