I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
