Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize