I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
