Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
