Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
