who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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