Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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