just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
