Having a random hookup so left but love u
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
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