he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
