I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Randomize
