You really coming over, don't trick.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
