He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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