at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
