IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You made out with two different species that night
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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