This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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