Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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